The bitter and sweet of it

I want freedom.I want my liberty again.
You were my hero.You saved me from the darkness.You saved from having a bitter youthness.
But now, you're my doom.
Why can't I stop worrying about you?Why can't I stop caring about you?Why can't I stop dreaming about you?you haunt every dream of mine, giving me illusions, making me smile in the morning, but those smiles are like a mayfly.they die too soon.Why can't I stop loving you?
There are few people in my life I would die and kill for.One of these,is you.I gave everything I could.Every thought of mine.Every dream of mine.Every future plan of mine.The future came, and you're not here.
But then you go away.You don't send any news.You just act as if I didn't have the need to know how you are.I call you and you never answer.I send sms and you never answer.What we used to call eternal friendship once, is like rubbish now.
I give up all my pride, just because I wanted to see you happy.I thought "Good, she's happy now". But then everything breaks down again and you come to me...to cry over my shoulder...and then, I feel like I could kill those who dared to hurt you.
There you go, searching for happiness again, and suddenly you forget you have a friend...who cares deeply about you.
Meanwhile...I live.or I try to live.Dreaming my dreams about you, but without you.being haunted by nightmares...Trying, I must admit, to accept other people in my life, but being unable to even tolerate them.Because they're not you...
I want so much to let go...I want so much my life back...but how could I?You are such a big part of it.
These nights are so cold....Life is so scary.
I have to set myself free...
Perhaps things will be different in another life.